I am an old fashion letter writer. Don't expect to get a bday or holiday card, but I do love sending letters and notes in the mail. I just wrote one to some friends and had the sudden thought that I needed put it in the body of this email so that you could all see "where" I am these days. I hope you are well and I hope in reading this you remember you are not alone....
My Dearest Mar Vista Mavens,
Okay, so you aren't "my" mavens, but I will affectionately pretend that you are. Oh my gosh do I miss you Beautiful Women tremendously. I don't miss a ton about LA, but some of the people...oh my...I do miss you/them.
Life is good. At this exact moment as this pen touches the paper... life is pretty great actually. I turned 45 since last we spoke/I wrote. Holy crap, I'm 1/2 way through this life and still have so much to learn!!!!
I still have my share of challenges and frustrations, but I love this life and oh my goodness do I love who I am blossoming into. I wish you could be here, could see me grow. I still call upon my memories of you ladies for inspiration and grounding. For moral support. For love. Ah, love....
That's been a huge part of my growth. My heart cracked open soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo wide that I couldn't close it back up. I started to freak out because it felt like it couldn't heal. At some point in probably this past year, I realized I don't want it to "heal". That what cracked open were all the walls I had built up around my heart to "protect" it. Well, I don't want to seal the walls up again. I'm pretty sure my greatest gift on this earth , in this body, in this life, is my vulnerability and my open heart. Brene Brown says "You can only love (and be loved) as much as you're willing to have your heart broken". So go on and break my heart, because the depth with which I now love... it is great and it is good. The coolest part is that I love myself more. I mean I truly (and FINALLY) love myself. Me and myself like the same music. We both like to dance. We both love spending time in nature. It's pretty corny, but I am fer sure my own best company.
I sealed myself off from the world there for a bit. I had a realization that the only reason I have relationships with about 87% of the people in my life is because I initiate, I call, I write, etc.... It didn't feel very reciprocal and I was getting resentful. So I stopped "getting a hold" of people. It has definitely been lonely and isolating, but thank goodness I stopped, because that's where I found me. Where I truly spent time with myself, started being more authentic, and realized I belong to nobody, but I do belong to me. It 's pretty wonderful to feel comfortable in my own skin. I'm kinda awesome! But you ladies have known that all along and tried to show me. I guess I needed a crisis to occur to truly learn that lesson. Sad but true!
I have put together The Chakra Series. A series of 7 workshops over 2018 for Women only. I just taught "The Root Chakra" this past Saturday and 13 Strong, Empowered, Lovely Woman all came. The energy was palpable. You ladies would fit right in and love them.
So Therese, you'll get a kick out of this daydream. (The rest of you ladies will as well, but I thought of you Therese during my daydream.)
I am a superhero. My name is The Green Heart. I don't have a fancy costume or even a cape. My superpower is this: I stand in front of the "bad guy" (is there even such a thing?) and I simply love him. My heartmind is so open that he feels my love and he knows he can no longer take the easy route. That he can no longer inflict pain on others so that he doesn't have to feel his own pain. All he needed was someone to love him, to listen to him, and to let him know he's not alone. That's my superpower Therese. I am just gonna love the dickens out of everybody I know whether they voted the same as me or not. Whether they believe the same things I believe or not. I'm just gonna love!
Can you feel it. My love coming to you from miles away?! So much love.....
aka: the green heart
I wish you could all get the actual letter where I traced around my Hunter's paws and head as she lay on top of my pad trying to remind me I am not alone (or maybe she was just trying to get my attention :-).
My Mar Vista Mavens - I love you. I have been wanting to send a CJoy Yoga letter to all for a while, but keep getting lost on what to write. Thanks for the creative free flow you inspired.
To everyone else, I love you too. What an honor to have you all support me on this journey called life. It's with all of your help, guidance, presence, and inspiration that I am able to stand on my own and be so vulnerable. What a gift you have given me. I might be the luckiest girl alive!
I'm gonna put in a quick plug for The Chakra Series. You can take just one or the rest of the 6 upcoming Chakra workshops. Click on the link in the last sentences to check out the overview of each or click here to purchase the Sacral Workshop coming up on April, 7. The last one sold out, so save your spot by purchasing online now or email me if you want to pay cash and I'll save a spot for you!!!
May you stand in your truth, be strong by being vulnerable, and love, love, LOVE!
Sacral Chakra: A Women's Retreat
Saturday, April 7, 2018
"May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born in faith in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love.
It is there for each and every one of us."
(Various sources attribute this to different folks so I'll just say "unknown". But I do know it has been incredibly powerful to read on a daily basis over the past month. Give it a try.)